I'm not sure how to get started with this post other than to just jump in. The last time I posted it was July. Six months ago. I knew when I posted last time that that would be "it" for awhile. My husband was ill, and he's been my focus for this last year. I didn't want to be a broken record about how bad he was feeling, or how life was changing, so God sort of gave me a break. But I've known that once the New Year rolled around I would need to find my way back to this blog.
He has been ill for over a year with vertigo attacks that became more and more frequent until they were an everyday occurrence. I'm not going to go back through all that, if you'd like to catch up please read the post before this. We did everything we could do to combat this illness by changing our diets. Limiting salt and processed food helped tremendously, but after a while even that wasn't enough. We finally found a specialist, that is located out of town to get the help that he needed. He was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease back in October and since then has been on different treatments that are helping, and he is feeling much better; not 100%, but enough better that he has been able to feel more confident about the future; which is a big deal in our lives. Being sick and feeling like things will never improve is just about the bottom of the barrel so to speak.
Back in July I talked about not giving up. Specifically, not giving up on God.
Trusting Him for His timing, wisdom, contacts, favor...the list is a mile long. Basically, don't give up on believing that God has the answers to all our needs. Key word...ALL
..our needs. My husband felt so beaten down with this illness that he entertained thoughts that were defeating. Thoughts like he would always be sick, that he wouldn't be able to continue working, that he was old and washed up...feel free to insert any other pitiful thoughts that we come up with when we are struggling through some sort of lengthy situation. I would listen to all this for awhile, because I realize that some days you just need to vent; to get all of it out to whomever it is that will listen. It makes us feel better when we can just unload some of our frustration. So I would listen. I love him, so I listened. But finally I realized that this wasn't getting him anywhere fast and he had to get past all of the negativity, otherwise we were both heading for a downhill slide.
I've said so many times before how important it is to be in God's Word each day. Even if you don't feel like reading...even if you're so sick and depressed that you don't feel like picking it up or looking at it. Distancing ourselves from Our Heavenly Father is the worst thing we can do in times of trouble and upset. Even if we feel
like God isn't around, I can guarantee that He is. I'd noticed that my husband wasn't reading his Bible anymore. I hadn't seen it out of his bedside drawer in weeks, maybe months. I waited and I prayed that God would speak to his heart and encourage him. Finally, I had an opportunity to ask him about it; not preachy or judgmental or condescending, I just encouraged him to get it out, open it up, and let God speak to his heart.
I've been through this so I know what I'm saying. Ignoring God because we aren't seeing things go our way is so easy. We feel hurt and alone and like He doesn't care. Why should we beat our head against the wall if God won't help us. Been there?
I believe there are answers in God's Word; inspired scripture that God shares with us. Words that He downloads into our hearts and spirit. Words that wake us up, encourage us, and give us direction. They inspire faith to manifest, that in turn gives us confidence in Him.
Are you going through something that has you worn out? Do you feel defeated and like things will never change? God has the Word for you. Come before Him with an open heart, open up your Bible, grab a pen and paper, then pray for wisdom and guidance. I guarantee that He will show up.
I promise that it won't be another 6 months before I'm back...promise
love in Jesus,