Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Just a little reminder for me, today...

In the early days of my marriage, I had occasion to be friends with older AND younger women. One in particular stands out. She was about mid forties at the time. I was in my early twenties. We worked in the same doctors office. She worked with filing insurance and as one of many receptionists. I was a doctor's assistant/x-ray tech. I had just had our first baby about a year ago, and wanted to work part time to pay for furnishing our new first home. She was a lady in every sense of the word. Gracious and kind, always ready to listen with an interested and patient ear. I found her soothing to be around and sought her out each morning to help get me in the mood for the workday. Her children and family were her main focus of her life. God was her sustainer. I enjoyed our conversations, her quick wit, and her kindness toward all people. I never heard a bad or negative word out of her mouth, no gossip, no making fun of anyone. She was, and I imagine still is this same lovely lady. I've thought of her often over the years, but don't know how to reach her, and honestly at this moment in time, I cannot even remember her name. Her face and her demeanor are clear in my mind. I guess that's what is most important, a lasting impression.

Now, I'm older than she was at that time, and I have heard God speak to me this morning and remind me about being a godly example to younger women. Do I complain too much? Does an "unwholesome" word sometimes come out of my mouth? Does my humor sometimes end up with someone or something being the "butt" of a joke...even in innocent fun? Who will think of me 25 or 30 years down the road and maybe not remember my name, but remember "me"? 

Version: NAS

Titus 2:3-5

3. Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4. that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5. [to be] sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.

Blogging this last year has allowed me to share who I am and to really be "me". I strive for that and want to be open, honest, and transparent. I'm sure just natural demeanor and personality had a lot to do with this woman's charisma. I tend to be loud mouthed, silly, and "out there" alot of the time. Maybe I saw a balance that I needed. Over the years I've needed to learn to think before I speak: to temper my words and actions.

Growing up in church, going to school, working for several years, and now even blogging, have all given me occasion to view and consider other women. The ones that continue to stand out are the ones that trust God and aren't afraid to say it. Their lives reflect Him consistently. I don't always do a good job of that, but I try.
Don't get me wrong, I love all the craziness that abounds here in blogdom. I'm one of them. A funny story, (believe me, I've heard some of the funniest here), discussions, upsets, family problems...all that we have to live through and contend with on a daily basis... all this makes for interest. Hey, I'm the one that gives all the dirt on myself. I think I just need to be seeking God daily to be the best "me" I can be. Not to be boring and uptight, because I don't think that's what God is asking us to be, but to put forth His Word and influence and at the same time be a godly woman. Above all, that His Word not be "dishonored".
I'll just make a quick comment on the part of being "subject" to our husbands. I'm not always right, my husband is not always right. If something comes up that we don't agree on, we do agree to take it to the Lord, and ask for His leading and guidance. We try to be open to the other's ideas and opinions. It hasn't always been this way, but over the last eleven or so years God has "gotten ahold" of both of us. Neither one of us has to have our way. But if it comes down to a certain matter, I let my husband make the decision. This has been a hard one for me, because by nature I'm on the bossy side and very opinionated. God has blessed me with a wonderful husband who loves and serves the Lord. I leave it between the two of them. Takes the pressure off of me.
And for the "working at home" part I will say this: God encourages each of us to be creative, and productive. Sometimes that means working outside the home. Sometimes we need to help out with finances. I just always enjoyed being home more than a "workplace". That's just me. Whatever we do, whether it's a job-job, a hobby, business at home; whatever you do, do it "as unto the Lord" and we can't forget to take care of our husbands, home and family. They come right after our personal relationship with Jesus. Submit all things to Him, He WILL give you the very best advice.
I think this was brought to my mind today, because of some of the TV and movie choices out there. Hey, I'm guilty of being a voyeur of some of what's on the tube. I don't want to get caught up in petty fights, bickering, grudges, infidelity, or greed. While it can all be entertaining, is this really the best for me to be participating in, even if not first hand but just by watching? I love what Joyce Meyer once said in so many words: If all you think about and talk about and listen to is talk about hot fudge sundaes, pretty soon you'll find yourself eating one.

And to me it is this today: Be respectful and honor God in all I do and say. Let His light shine through each area of my life. Live life in the here and now, enjoy it, but let Him control it. And oh yes, now I remember... her name is Ann.

Love, In Jesus,


  1. I appreciate this post very much. The Debra I am growing to know is an excellent example of a Godly woman. I realize for myself, because I use humor to deflect a lot of the time, that I need to be more careful not to hurt any one's feelings.

    love you bunches,

  2. I wont' forget you...you are a fine example...a true reflection of HIM!

  3. Yes I too am the older woman, and always trying to teach the younger, how to be a Godly woman, not just a so so woman, may we do what God has told us to do, teach the younger women how to be faithful, honest and loving helpmeets, hugs Barbara

  4. Oh that we'd all be Lois's and Eunices's.
    Beautiful blog Debra.

  5. Hi Debra,

    So glad I stopped by today - very good reading and thanks for sharing. I haven't been feeling well lately and been on the sofa the last few days and watched more TV than usual. Of all things, I got hooked on "The Real Housewives of NY" or whatever it is called. I have never watched those kind of shows before....I don't know why I was so fascinated by such hateful women who had "it all." Money, looks, homes, husbands...in one episode, a wife got a brand new Mercedes SUV as a surprise from her husband and she was inside it not more than 30 seconds before she complained about the radio or something....my point is....while I layed on my old sofa, in my tiny home, in my worn pajamas, munching on stale crackers, I felt more grateful by the moment as I watched these women who thought nothing of spending $16,000 on a purse (not a typo - yes, that is 16 THOUSAND dollars) and yet, they did nothing but complain, cry, yell, scream, gossip, and seemed just miserable. After a couple of days of this, I actually felt sorry for THEM as I got up off the sofa to make sandwiches for dinner for my honey before he got home since I didn't feel well and how grateful I am that while I don't have "much" I have everything I "need." And it starts with a love for Jesus. I have so many days where I can complain with the best of them, but I am grateful that God gives me what I need - which isn't much but just enough.

    Thanks for giving me what I needed today!

  6. Hi Debra,

    I got your post - thank you - loved it. I think those television housewives wouldn't know what to do with people like us - I will admit - there were times I was watching and I was just WISHING I could be there and hug one of them and let them know they don't have to be so unhappy.... Just wanted to give you a quick note before I head out of town. Your post inspired me so much yesterday when I read it...I taught a class on decorating last night to a group of women at my church. Because of your post, I found myself praying to God on the way to church asking that I find a way to encourage the women to find happiness with their homes...to find out more about them and tell less about me. Because of your post, I found myself praying that God remind me that there may be a woman in the room who just lost her home and is moving into an apartment, or a husband who lost his job and buying her dream home is now on hold and she is sad, or a woman who feels so cluless that she is intimitated....I wanted to make the women feel that their "nest" was already wonderful and here are some tips to take with you to make it more personal with things you already have around the house without spending a dime...and to have fun as well!

    So thank you - you never, ever know when your words really affect someone - in this case - hopefully a room full of women! :-)


  7. Hi, Debra! I came upon this post by what I would believe was happenstance, but with God, nothing is happenstance. Thanks so much for the encouraging words and wise advise. Thank the Lord for Ann!

  8. Hi Debra! Great post as usual. One of my newest friends is a young woman just turning 40 this year. It is humbling to know that the Lord is counting on me to be a good example. I do not always succeed, but your post has inspired me to try harder.
    Have a great week-end.

  9. Just found your blog and am so delighted I did. I look forward to your studies and am inspired to become a "woman after God's heart"
    God bless,

    Another Debbie <><

  10. Was just lead to your blog and can't wait to dive in with your studies...When did we become the "older" women? Ha!

  11. Thank you for this post. I share your heart and understand completely what you are saying. I have also been meditating on this passage and praying that God will show me how I need to change to become more of the woman He wants me to be. I appreciate your blog. Keep up the great work.

    God bless!

    ~ melscoffeebreak.blogspot.com ~


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