I want to share a little "thing" going on in my life that happened last week. It's about relationships, friendships, seasons, hearing God's voice...and change.
For the last several months I've been talking about knowing in my spirit; my gut, that things are changing. I'm walking into a new season even if I don't know exactly where that will be. I think we all can feel it when change is around the corner. God starts giving us nuances. They can be feelings, "intuition", emotions, changes in circumstances, etc. Many times it happens in others first, and we're the last to know. You know what I'm talking about. A situation that was good becomes overwhelming, boring, tiresome, too time consuming...as we say in "Christianspeak" the anointing comes off. Any number of emotions and feelings can accompany it. I've had this happen with many situations; God inspired situations, that unbeknownst to me, become out of God's plan or timing. Sort of reminds me of High School dating. One month you're infatuated with the guy sitting next to you in chemistry, the next month you can't get away from him fast enough. Nothing changed on the outside. He's still a great guy, but God leads you in another direction.
So, now to the case in point. First let me tell you that no one did anything "wrong"; it involves a friendship with a "business partner". We're not extremely close, but still good friends. We don't pick up the phone and call each other in the middle of the night to chit chat over a problem, but we enjoy the same design style and "get each other" in that area. We've known each other several years, can have a great laugh, share how God is working, and enjoy each other's company.
People come with all kinds of approaches to life. I'm one that likes to be forthright and upfront. I like to talk things through and know where everyone "is coming from". Pretty transparent. That's just me. I like that in friendships, and business relationships...any kind of "ship". I don't like surprises. I want all the cards on the table, so to speak. I like to know what others are thinking, especially when it has to do with a mutual situation or circumstance. I understand that not everyone is like me. (Actually this trait really annoys some people) Some people like to really get something totally thought out and concrete before it's made "public"...nothing wrong with that...it's just not who I am.
Now back to how God works in people and situations to accomplish His will.
I've known for a while that with having several blogs that my time is pretty much consumed with keeping them current. God led me into them. He set them up and put them together. But at the same time I didn't have time to do the same amount of Bible Study that I had done previously. I've been in a season of making connections through the web, and blogging; meeting wonderful people and having a forum for creativity and expression. Writing, photography (wow, I love this part; who knew???), visiting new places, making friendships etc. But at the same time my "God time" has diminished slightly. I've been in a season.
God doesn't always make things easy for us. Change can be uncomfortable. (Hey, didn't I just say that on my last post or two?) Sometimes He allows things that cause us to have to make decisions; difficult decisions, that require us to rethink priorities, be open to a new outlook, let go of some things. He shuts doors sometimes, and sometimes in those doors shutting our toes get stubbed and our noses get out of joint.
I won't go into detail here, because this situation involves a friend, like I said. We've talked through the outcome of this particular change and are still good friends. We still have a "business relationship", but God has some different things for each of us to do. The key here is that even though it had the potential to end our friendship, God gave us each grace to talk things out and realize that He indeed was calling each of us to do something different. Like I said, change can be devastating if you don't allow God to be in control of all aspects of it. Being led by the Spirit involves listening to Him, allowing Him to give us correct words, attitudes, and the freedom to lead us even when we are like stubborn little mules; angry, mouthy, stubborn little mules. I can be that at times.
So the result is even though I was pushed kicking and screaming through the door of God's plan, I did end up on the other side. He has reminded me that I'm not always right, other people have a say in a relationship, and that I can't always "fix" things. Sometimes things just need to change.
Getting to where God is leading us is not a destination, it's a process. Everyday being available to God. Doing what He asks, and realizing there's a bigger picture out there than what we might be able to see from our current vantage point. Ultimately it took following my own advice from last week. I had to ask God point blank, "is this a goal you want for me, or is this just something I want?" And guess what...He told me.
So, it wasn't the easiest weekend. But now I'm moving forward, one more step in the process to what's coming next.
love, in Jesus,