Friday, July 22, 2011

I've been thinking...

Yes, I know that can be a dangerous thing for some of us.

Just wanted you to know that I'm still here. I've been thinking about things that have been going on with my life and in my spirit...wanting to talk about some of the things that God has been showing me in these last few months. I've been contemplating the last nine years of my life; trying to make sense of it in the spiritual realm.

I have a tendency to "overthink" sometimes, especially on weighty subjects. And there have been two weighty subjects in my life throughout this time that seemingly contradict themselves. A call to ministry in regard to healing, and then the fact that I was about wiped out with heart disease. It would be easy for me to just feel like they cancel each other out, but God won't let me go there.

I've been thru every emotion under the sun in this last few months, but I haven't given up on getting out of the place I seemingly am stuck in health wise, or the fact that no matter how hard I want to quietly slip away from posting here, God will have none of it.

Playing house at my other blog has given me a distraction. Painting furniture, rearranging things, sewing, having linky parties; God has all approved and basically said, "Go ahead, have some fun, then come back here when I say so." I'm back...

My husband and I talk alot, he's my best friend, and good thing too. Otherwise living with me might not be such a picnic. God has put something in him that I can only call divine love for me. We've had alot of ups and downs in 38 years of marriage. (Who can be married and not have some ups and downs?) He's a good listener, and always processes what I need to share. I can complain and fuss and whine, and he's always there to pray for me and encourage me. He helps me sort things out and sift thru the junk in my life.

OK, so here's the jest of this post.

I still believe in healing. I have a long history with the Lord on this, so it ain't changin' or going away.
(I know not all of you have this same belief, but God has settled this with me many years ago, so even though I respect your opinion, please don't try to change mine.)
I've done everything I can "do" to show the Lord I mean business. Below are just a few things that God has given me over the many years I've been here.

I've read every book on healing from founding spiritual fathers to current ministries.
I've taken communion every day, as I know that we do this in remembrance of what Jesus has done for us.
I've looked up every scripture on healing and taken it to the Lord in prayer.
I've rebuked the enemy.
I've submitted myself to the Lord.
I've done extensive evaluation led by the Holy Spirit to reveal to me things in my life that I have needed to turn over and let God deal with.
I've forgiven every one who ever did something against me, and I've asked forgiveness of those that I may have harmed.

the list goes on...

you get my drift?

I have faith in God for His will to be done.
I'm believing and standing on the promises.
I'm there.

So when I went back to the Lord this last week about ,
"Is there something I haven't done?,
 Is there something you want from me?
Why is this still continuing?"

I received an answer...
"wait, and call it done."

All the good things that teach us and grow us and reveal God's Word to us can become "works" if we aren't careful.

God knows our heart.
He knows our faith.
He wants us to trust Him.
Then we wait...

love in Jesus,